so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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