dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Randomize
