Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
