porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
