i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
