I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
