The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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