i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
