So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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