Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
