You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
