Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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