There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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