I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
