Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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