I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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