you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
