Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
