ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
