I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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