Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
