you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
