OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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