he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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