Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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