Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry uvegot2bkiddinme hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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(706): View more from Georgia

yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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(716): View more from New York

God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.

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