it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
