I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
