Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
the raccoons are back...
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