I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
