Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
