its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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