You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
