1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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