I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
