Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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