if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
