i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
