I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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