I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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