grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
