i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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