i just had sex bonerless
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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