If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
