Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
