I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
