I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's just like the Real World with babies
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
