you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
