Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
