dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
