Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
